So I Played MÖRK BORG...

-Pick Up Graves Left Wanting Here-

And it was fun!

Thanks to the always great Fantastic Dimensions I got to play in a one shot using the hot new item in the OSR scene, MÖRK BORG. A game so head turning it even brought Grognardia back from the dead! We played the Fleshworks and Graves Left Wanting modules. Here's some of my thoughts on Mork Borg, real quick.

What I didn't like about Mork Borg:

• This is probably more of a 3rd party problem than official stuff but designers need to playtest their stuff, even a little helps.
• At no point in the session did I feel, in danger? With the way armor works and MB having luck points I felt pretty confident going into each fight. Also you can heal after each combat, for zero cost? I think? Idk gotta read the rule book again. Then again I did die at the end, so maybe its just me...
• Boss Fights. At the end of Graves Left Wanting there's a boss fight, that you have to beat in order to complete the adventure. So Mork Borg is a combat as sport game, not very OSR but that's ok. I'm not sure Borg even labels itself as OSR, more OSR-adjacent.
• DC (DR in MB) checks always felt lame to me, idk why. Maybe because I have horrible flashbacks about my old Pathfinder games.
• The setting. You would think a hyper edgelord like me would enjoy the hell out of MB's setting but eh, i'm just not feeling it.
  
  

What I did like about Mork Borg:

• The magic system, very few spells makes them seem actually rare and mystical. I also like that anyone can find a scroll and use it. 
• The calendar system. You can easily staple this onto a b/x system and I think I will. 
• How easy it was to learn, I just skimmed the rules and was ready to go.
• The art is sweet and the general vibe of Mork Borg is great.

Cool game and fun to play but I don't think I'll ever have a desire to actually run it. I'll definitely steal some stuff from it for my home games, like the calendar and misery mechanics.

Oh and here's the vid to the game I played in if you're curious. 

Sword Saint Techniques I

Art Source

I was inspired after reading From the Pilgrim's Temple's blogpost called "Weeaboo Fightan Magic", heh, and decided to write my own pretentious version.

Sword Saints are masters of martial prowess and sacred hidden techniques known only to a few. Seek them out to learn their secrets or best them to steal their title. The following are a few of their known techniques.

[The following techniques are only learnable by the Fighter Class (b/x--OSE).]

Form Of The Dragon

Technique Description: The user lashes out with three quick strike melee attacks that mimic the Dragon’s claws and bite attacks. Damage is as a dragon’s claw/claw/bite attacks.

Learning Requirements: Slay a Dragon solo and survive. Then train in solitude for 4d4 weeks +/- WIS MOD with a favored melee weapon to master this technique.

The Ape King’s First Parable

Technique Description: Allows the user to push their body beyond its limits and open the first inner gate. The user goes first in initiative and deals double damage for a number of rounds per day equal to their level. The user may push their body further and continue the effect for additional rounds beyond their level limit but must make a save vs paralysis each time, a failure means the user falls unconscious for 1d6 turns. The user must rest for a turn after each combat this tech is used or surfer a -1 to all rolls until they are able to rest. Additionally the user must rest after the adventure for an extra week to compensate for using this technique.

Learning Requirements: Travel to the Jungle of Abudca and study under the Wise Ape King for 1 year.

The Thunder God’s Waltz

Technique Description: The user gains a permanent +2 to AC in combat due to the esoteric movements of the Thunder God’s Waltz (must be wearing light or no armor). The user can also automatically dodge lightning bolts and take no damage.

Learning Requirements: Master the Thunder God’s Waltz* and use it to completely dodge a lighting bolt (Dex Save with Disadvantage). Failure to dodge the bolt means you offend the Thunder God and take an additional 1d6 damage in addition to the lightning bolt’s damage. *Takes 3d4 weeks +/- INT MOD to learn under tutelage of a master of this tech.

Fist Of The Wave’s Nod

Technique Description: The user may shoot a projectile of Ki from their fist for 1d6+1 damage per level. Range is equal to 30ft plus 10ft per level. May be used a number of times per day equal to 3 + CHA MOD (min 1).

Learning Requirements: Meditate under a waterfall for at least one month from dawn to dusk. Then hurl 10,000 punches against an ocean’s waves and if the ocean recoils against the 10000th punch you will learn this technique (Roll a d20 +STR MOD +CHA MOD +1* versus the ocean’s d30+5). Must restart the process if you fail to intimidate the ocean. *Add an additional +1 for each extra month spent meditating under the waterfall up to +12.


If you like these and want more let me know and I'll make this a series. 

The Seven Resplendent Orbs of Zulan

I would religiously watch DBZ everyday on Toonami as a kid and was fascinated by the lore of the Dragon Balls. If you collected all 7 together you would summon a dragon god that would grant you any one wish. That still sounds cool to me, and gameable. Today's post is a homage to DBZ and a bit of my childhood. 

THE SEVEN RESPLENDENT ORBS OF ZULAN

"Whosoever gathers together the Seven Resplendent Orbs shall be granted any one wish thine desire. A parting gift to the world that labored under my eminence"

-Zulan the First Mage

1. The Ruby Orb of Insanity
   All spells require a save vs spells to be successfully cast within a one mile radius of this sphere. A failed save and the caster casts a random spell instead and a hint of madness slithers into their mind.
   
   
2. The Emerald Orb of Might
   All damage dice are doubled when within a one mile radius of this sphere. 
   
   
3. The Sapphire Orb of Magic
   This sphere holds any M-U spell from any OSR retro clone you own. A M-U may meditate for 3 days and nights to exchange one spell from the sphere with a spell of equal level from their spellbook.
   
   
4. The Opal Orb of Pacifism
   No harm may be purposely inflicted or meditated within a one mile radius of this sphere.
   
   
5. The Onyx Orb of Malice
   The wielder may inflict agonizing pain to one person or creature of their choice (must know their name and face) by performing harm to themselves or a sentient sacrifice. Each sacrifice inflicts 1d6+1 damage per HD of the sacrifice. 
   
   
6. The Violet Orb of Passion
   The wielder is able to hyper focus on a task or problem and reduce the time taken to complete it by half. This counts for spell research and training.
   
   
7. The Amber Orb of Babel
   All spoken words are understood by all within a one mile radius of this sphere.
   
   

NOTES:

• When all Orbs are gathered in one location the Avatar of Creation will appear before the gatherers and grant any one wish. After the wish the Orbs are scattered across the campaign world to random locations.
• The orbs are fist sized.
• The orbs have a 1d4+1 year cool down before the Avatar is able to be summoned again.
  
• There may or may not be a password or phrase to summon the Avatar. 
• All orb effects are written for a b/x-esque system.

LotFP & What Needs To Change

The Grindhouse Referee Book

I like Lamentations of the Flame Princess (LotFP). So much so that once upon a time Raggi hired me to run his social media [1]. However the enthusiasm I had for the game has since died down to an ember but I still want it to do well. Trouble is Lamentations barely managed to crawl out of the abyss and it's still hanging precariously close to the edge. It needs an outstretched hand. And while I don't think Lamentations will ever reach the pinnacle of what it was, it can continue to put out quality products, like the DCC peeps. They just need to clear some stuff up and fix some things that need fixing.

So with all that said here's what I think needs to change for LotFP to survive in the current happy-fun-time landscape and maybe even thrive again. 

• Misinformation
  There is/was a whole cabal of publishers who threw fuel on LotFP's funeral pyre when the Zakpocalypse festered. LotFP once dominated the OSR scene and there was definitely some resentment. The fact that a edgy grimdark retro clone was raking in all the cash and snagging the big awards year after year really rubbed some jealous people the wrong way. This cabal continues to work behind the scenes and shit all over LotFP stuff wherever and whenever they can [2]. If LotFP wants to circumvent this at all, they need to rally the fanbase and denounce misinformation whenever it's seen. The outright lies I've witnessed, oh boy. I've have since given up doing this since I decided it wasn't worth the stress. Especially after that whole fanzine debacle [3].
  
  
• Controversies
  One of the reasons I got into LotFP was because it used to push people's buttons for the right reasons. Not because of an online difference of personalities or the disc horse that's popular nowadays but because books themselves were controversial. Better Than Any Man is one of my favorite rpg books of all time and was highly controversial at the time. Partly because it was a Free RPG day book that blew the other submissions out of the water and party because there's some really dark shit in there. Let's go back to that; the books are controversial, not people. 
  
  
• Da Rules

  While Raggi never thought the core rules were super important, I think they are. Look at OSE, people wanted a skeleton d&d system to fill the LotFP void and Necrotic Gnome filled it. If LotFP had the quality modern day layout OSE does I would continue to use it as my base system. It's time to upgrade Raggi, hire a fancy expensive layout person and clean up the rules a bit. Visual aesthetic and ease of use are king now. Remember you're competing with computers and books need to be as useful at the table as a phone.
  
  
• The New Referee Book
  This fucking thing. I vaguely remember hearing that it was going to be a huge book and mehhhh. Here's what you do instead. Get the old Grindhouse Ref book [4], get the old tutorial book slap them together and write a new foreword apologizing for not putting out a new ref book but it just ain't-gonna-happen. Then, add a shit load of random tables for the default 17th century that's "implied, add great new art, a new modern layout, mix them all together and put it in a beautiful hardcover leatherette book with a sweet title. BAM! New Ref book. Maybe add some material from the new draft as a appendix but not too much just the really good shit. I'd buy that.
  
  
• The Implied Setting
  I love the 17th century and the real world history. Most people don't. Look at the Mork Borg craze, people love that setting and it's literally just a map with like 5 thinly alluded to places. If you want to stick with the implied 17th century history setting you need a goddamn history book. A gameable one. Lay out out all the real world kingdoms and empires Game of Thrones styles with why they hate each other and why the century sucked to live in. Stat up famous NPCs like so and really do the history justice. OR make a generic map and just give the locations grimdark foreign sounding names [5]. 
  
  
• The Product
  Stop making books that are weird for the sake of being weird. For example, while I loved Big Puppet's premise I get the feeling it would be a pain to try and implement and explain. Back when I was running my LotFP campaigns what I really needed were A. The fucking history book I talked about earlier and B. decent dungeons. Where are all the goddamn dungeons? If I need treasure plundered from dangerous places on the fringes of society to level up classic d&d style where are they? Give me a entire book of short dungeons themed to 17th century history. A hidden dungeon under Stonehenge that houses alien mummies, an aztec temple with elite guardians that are trying to keep people out for their own safety. Fucking Scholomance a horror themed Hogwarts? Come on it writes itself. An ancient crumbling roman temple with secret sex crazed Aphrodite worshippers. MORE GOOD DUNGEONS, short ones and maybe one huge mega-dungeon. Fermentum is an ok start.
  
  
• New Blood
  This one is going to be probably the most difficult but LotFP needs more good writers, preferably with a following already. Reach out, give them bags of money if you have to. OR Raggi needs to write heavy hitters again like Death Frost Doom or Better Than Any Man. Btw where is that hardcover version of BTAM?
  
  
• EMBRACE AND FOSTER THE 3RD PARTY STUFF
  When someone makes something for your game it needs to be promoted to hell. That's what I tried to do when I ran the social media. People having enthusiasm for your game is key, again, look at the new players like Mork Borg and Necrotic Gnome. Huge support for their 3rd party stuff.
  
  

All these things (and more) need to be fixed before LotFP can stitch itself together and claw out of it's shallow grave. But what do you think? Do you agree or disagree with my observations? Or let me know what you think LotFP needs to change. Let me know in the comments.

[1] Check out my dead blog if you want to read me whine and bitch about why I quit.

[2] I'm only a quarter serious. Most people just parroted the same bullshit a few loud ones vomited out.
[3] Yes, I'm still salty about that lol. 
[4] A fucking masterpiece DM's guide btw.
[5] Mork Borg is sweet, I'm just yanking their chain.

Raise Dead; Trials and Trepidations

A Failed Raise Dead Casting?

B/X's (OSE) spell Raise Dead is so strange to me. It's a spell that completely circumvents the biggest fear a character has in-game and makes death just an inconvenience, a speed bump. And yet I kind of like the idea of it existing but there has to be some consequences to it. Otherwise some rich merchant could theoretically buy some Raise Dead scrolls and be done with death. So here are some further rules and prerequisites I'm thinking off adding should someone gain access to the Raise Dead spell in my future hypothetical OSE campaign.

RAISE DEAD

CHANGES

• Raise Dead is no longer instant and instead takes minimum 1 hour to cast depending on the caster's customs and rituals.
• Range is changed from 120' to 5'. The caster must be in very close proximity to the body.
  
  

LIMITS

• Cannot bring back someone who died of advanced age.
• The spell will mend wounds but does not regrow lost limbs or such. Think Beric from GoT.
• The target cannot be an enemy of the caster's religion, god or alignment.
  
  

CONSEQUENCES

• The caster must make a save vs spells when Raise Dead is cast, this represents the caster's faith. A failure means the caster ages 1d10+2 years and this casting is unsuccessful. I might allow some bonuses if the caster prepared some fancy expensive incense burning and lamb offerings and such.
  
  

I'm also thinking about adding a monetary cost to each casting but might save that for NPC castings of the spell. 3-13 possible years of aging seems like a significant penalty to prevent spamming the spell.

Do you allow RAW Raise Dead in your b/x--OSE games or do you change it up? I'm curious so let me know in the comments! Would love to hear some Raise Dead stories too.

GYGAX 75 Challenge; REDUX: Week 5

Find Week 4 here

WEEK 5: THE LARGER WORLD

Week 5 is all about filling out the campaign world by listing mysterious locales, deities, mythical treasures and more. Most of the tasks are dedicated to this but only require you to do three. I'll instead pick out the most interesting tasks to me and then that'll be pretty much it for my run of the Gygax 75 Challenge. It was really fun and got my mind off shitty pandemic life and Trumps shit attempt at a insurrection. I'm gonna keep working on this world and I'm probably gonna test run with my SO and child and hopefully with the old gaming group after the pandemic. I'll write up some session reports if/when I do. Anyways on to the tasks!

TASKS:

Develop a Pantheon and Powers
I want this campaign world to have numerous strange gods with each settlement having their own deities and religious practices. I have this vague idea of a Sun Worshiping Cult* in the beginning stages of becoming a global religion, maybe, if they can put down all the other rival cults. Then this Sun Cult is going around proselytizing and perhaps slaying (burning?) heretics and rival cults.

In my Week 4 I already started this practice by showing the great river spirit Undine and one of the blessings she bestows upon the town. Also want to throw in some Saints of various aspects, like a Saint for Murderers, Assassins and Eccentric Musicians called St. Emil. 

*Yawn, I know done to death BUT it's something that I want to try out.

Develop a Rival Adventuring Party or Mercenary Band
St. Emil's Regulars are a band of music hunters seeking out rare sheets for their god, The Red Musician. Their leader Ri-Kas is the 41st apostle of St. Emil and 5th level Cleric.

Create Events and Rumors from other lands the characters might hear. 

• The Praetorians have been seen in the mainland's coast ransacking villages and taking slaves.
• A red dragon has been rampaging and causing mayhem down south. 
• A red star fell from the sky and landed somewhere west near the village of  Piurn. Bad luck for them.
• The White Sun's Zenith approaches and the City State of Dis prepares it's grand festivals.

Create more major magical relics of the world and short history, including where they were last seen and who/what owned them.

• The Sinister Hymn of Fiends is a piece of sheet music written by a forgotten devil. Those who listen to it to completion and survive gain a fiend's strength. Last seen at the Monastery where St. Emil ascended to godhood. Some say Emil himself heard the Hymn and ascended but for other's this is blasphemy. 
• CHIME [As seen here] is a dwarven forged bident tuning fork used to slay Dragons. It's current rumored location is in the Tower of Ivory Stoops in the Praetorian Empire of Birdosa.
• The Seven Orbs of Zulan, basically a Dragon ball rip off. Have to find all seven orbs that are scattered all over the world to get a wish. 
  
  

And that's it! I'm super proud of myself for finishing this challenge and I hope any readers out there were as entertained as I was. Stick around as I go back and finish some of the extra credits and flesh out the campaign world even further.

Thanks for reading and see you next time.

d66 Magic-User Deviances

Learning the arcane arts takes a blackened toll on the magic-user’s mind and body, a price that manifests in eccentric behaviors or physical disfigurements.

After creating a Magic-User roll d66 and consult the table below.

11. Your eyes are yellow and cat-like with vertical slit pupils.
12. Your eyes are green and snake-like with vertical slit pupils.
13. Your eyes glow a violent shade of red in the dark.
14. Your nose grows long and sharp.
15. You have no hair.
16. Bloody tears run down your face after casting a spell.

21. Mercurial tears run down your face after casting a spell.
22. Your hair is an unnatural silver color.
23. You have an overwhelming urge to sleep with your head pointing south.
24. You have an overwhelming urge to sleep in a box.
25. You have an overwhelming urge to wear only the finest, most expensive clothing.
26. You have an overwhelming urge to wear only the poorest, least expensive clothing.

31. You have an overwhelming urge to dance naked under a full moon for a turn.
32. You have an overwhelming urge to eat more than necessary.
33. Your blood is vanta-black.
34. Your blood is floral white.
35. Your skin is pale white and powdery.
36. Your skin is a dull wine red and oily.

41. All your teeth are sharp edged and serrated.
42. You have sharp blackened fingernails.
43. Your tongue is bifurcated.
44. Your tongue has all the qualities a toad has.
45. You leave hooved footprints behind you.
46. You have a prehensile hairy red devil tail protruding from the small of your back.

51. You have a prehensile black monkey tail protruding from the small of your back.
52. You have an overwhelming urge to crack each finger after every casting.
53. You have an overwhelming urge to whistle a short melody after every casting.
54. You have an overwhelming urge to roll a coin across your knuckles after each casting.
55. You cannot stand to touch iron and take double damage from iron weapons.
56. You have goat horns protruding from your head.

61. You have two left hands.
62. Your hands are stained red.
63. You have a birthmark shaped like a star somewhere on your body.
64. You have a birthmark shaped like a death-rune somewhere on your body.
65. A vertical third eye opens on your forehead after every casting. Appears for 1d6 turns.
66. Your jaw can unhinge and can stretch like a snakes.


A Magic-User may attempt to deny his overwhelming urges but must make a save vs spells with a -2 for each successful past denial. Denying an urge bestows a -1 to attack rolls and saving throws for each denial. The penalties reset when the caster gives in to the urge. Physical disfigurements cause a -1 to reaction rolls.