Land of Confusion, Session I Recap

Moon Men by Frank Frazetta

So.

Two weeks ago my players started asking me to run a in person campaign and I agreed it was time. The last IRL game I ran was around October 2019 but we were never able to get back together since the pandemic hit. I've been wanting to run a Sword and Sorcery (Planet?) themed game using Old School Essentials, I spent the last week writing up a dungeon (just one level) and starting town. The dungeon was an ancient Ellkaien (Elven) Temple that had since been overrun by wild Baboons and cultists. Yesterday we played.

I decided to call this campaign Land of Confusion after my favorite Genesis song. The following are some quick recap notes I jotted down after the game.

CONTENT WARNING: Extreme Violence and Gore, Sexual Imagery, Nudity, Immaturity, 

LAND OF CONFUSION Campaign (Homebrew OSE), Session I

CAST:
BERRON [V1]
KARLOCK [S1]
SIMON [T1] DECEASED
KUAN [V1]
BARTZ NAKED [V1]
HOEY [V1]

HIRELINGS:
SITUAL the Man-At-Arms DECEASED
SUNDO the Man-At-Arms DECEASED
RAMRA the Torchbearer DECEASED
Baba-Yun the Old Pack Moa

• Our band of vagabonds traveled from the settlement town of Gillamoor to a lost Ellkaien Temple now overrun by sinister cultists and ravenous baboons.
  
  
• The adventurers descended the ancient halls to loot as much treasure as possible.
  
  
• They encountered a baboon taking a shit in a room of refuse which was subsequently suplexed to death by the thief Bartz Nakel.
  
  
• Simon the 1st Level Thief was badly burned by a still functioning Ellkaien Laser Defense turret.
  
  
• Screaming cultists dressed in baboon skin ambushed the party after further exploration, retainers were cut down by waved daggers, and cultists were dotted with arrow fire. Much blood was spilled. 
  
  
• The party discovered the turrets did not fire upon the cultists for some reason, perhaps due to the baboon skin they were wearing. All but Simon the 1st Level Thief donned the baboon skin.
  
  
• Simon the 1st level Thief was disintegrated by a still working Ellkaien defense turret.
  
  
• The party discovered the eastern entrance to the temple, they met Kuan the 1st Level Vagabond (replacement character for Simon's player) and Bartz threw a dagger covered in shit at him, he was infected with sepsis.
  
  
• They soldiered back into the dungeon. More cultists, more blood.
  
  
• Room with Art Fresco depicting Star Children arriving on the planet greeted by the Ellkaien.
  
  
• Ramra the Torchbearer was bisected by a scythe trap.
  
  
• They discovered the bronze idol of a lost Ellkaien goddess. The idol sat crouched in a meditative pose with 4 arms and hands outstretched displaying arcane signs. It's three supple breasts and crotch were polished from seemingly constant touch. It had 3 eyes, one of which sitting on the forehead was a large emerald. Karlock the Sorcerer caressed the idols breasts which activated the trap! A flash of sickly green light from the forehead emerald of the idol blinded Karlock, Berron & Bartz for one hour.
  
  
• The party decided to rest in the idol room and was met with haunting vignette of ancient Ellkaien specters acting out their past lives of worship in the idol room. An hour passed and party decided to pack up and return to town.
  
  
• The session ended as the party returned to the settlement town of Gillamore to sell their ill gotten treasure.
  
  

Total Treasure Recovered: Emerald 2000gp, 7x Baboon Costumes 175gp, 30gp looted from Cultists
XP GAINED: 450